Inspired by a recent dinner party I attended where the host served up some delicious stromboli that he made RIGHT IN FRONT OF US (like Benihana only Italian and without the awkward small talk), this week I made stromboli for dinner and barbecue chicken pizza for lunch.
Stromboli is actually awesomely easy to make. SUPER IMPORTANT RULE #1: SECURE A ROLLING PIN. If you forget or can't find the rolling pin, your life will be really hard. Like mine. You could also use a wine bottle to roll out dough, which my mom and I did once making pies. I also forgot about that little trick. Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with me. Anyway, I used pizza dough, which I wouldn't recommend. Just pick up some frozen bread dough and let it rise. Put your favorite toppings in the middle, roll it up, and bake it in the oven. Awesomely easy. Unless you're me, in which case tragedy will strike anytime you are allowed to choose your own toppings or really anytime that you're in the kitchen. This was true of BOTH the stromboli and the pizza. My Ketchup Curse strikes again.
Instead of thinking about things that might taste good together, I resorted to putting all the things I like inside a bread substance and eating it. I could have just stopped the pizza after I'd added the four essential components: chicken, barbecue sauce, onions and mozzerella. BUT NOOOOOOO. I had to add goat cheese, one of my favorite things in the entire universe but NOT a cheese that tastes good with barbecue sauce. It's not totally disgusting, but it smacks strongly of failure. Each of my four stromboli has a different combination of ingredients, two of them include roasted red pepper which has a very distinctive taste that doesn't always play well with others. We'll see, but I will probably go buy some Top Ramen tonight just in case.
Finally, I want to wish my dad a very happy birthday. Sorry that I'm so bad at cooking, even if I am great at picking out new cards. You win some you lose some.
Update: I just signed up to get a Recipe of the Day.
ReplyDeleteThey say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.... That being said, I warned you NOT to attempt to replicate the pure joy and oven baked goodness encapsulated in bread dough that is my stromboli.
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you where you went wrong. First, you tried to do what I do. Impossible!! It can't be done, except by me, or some other incredibly gifted individual that has been properly trained by me. Second, you screwed with the ingredients. Never screw with the ingredients, they are perfect, meaning there is no room for improvement. This is a cardinal rule when making strombolis. The ingredients have been carefully selected, fine tuned and tested for quality, compatibility and harmony down through the generations, any deviation will certainly spell disaster.
I could go on and on but I think you get the point. While I am flattered you enjoyed these treats so much that you wanted to make them yourself, I would ask that you refrain from any further stromboli making endeavors. I know that I made the preparation look easy, and rightfully so, I’ve been making strombolis for years. Nevertheless, strombolis are an art form, and their creation should be left to the artisans. Thank you and good day.